According to George Michael, ‘You gotta have faith’ but if it’s misplaced then it’s a recipe for disappointment or worse. I’ve supported people and causes wholeheartedly and generously only to find myself having been used and my good nature abused. My own fault, I’d normally think, I’m old enough to know better but it’s taken me this long to learn I have a developmental disability, which seems suitably ironic. Doing so, however, has given me a whole new perspective in terms of many of my life events.
I’m truly humbled to think of the many occasions when people have shown genuine faith in me and that makes me consider how I could become more worthy of any faith being placed in me in the future. I’ve come to understand what an aspergian trait that is and so the occasions when my faith in people has been well placed are valued beyond measure.
Getting the balance of soul searching correct is vital. Too much can be destructive while too little can lead to a waste of genuine opportunity and personal growth and I feel that faith in oneself can only be achieved by being brutally honest and having the courage to face some home truths.
That’s why I’ve never felt able to subscribe to any religion or faith system. While they normally sell justification of a set of behaviours that sound really worthy, I’ve always felt these are qualities that should be discovered by choosing to look inward in order to grow outwardly, anyhow. Furthermore, many of these systems appear to become hijacked by pretenders who seek to steal credibility while basically good people are left wondering why they are being held accountable for someone misrepresenting their group. Many find solace from being with like-minded people and that is the key – shared values as chosen by individual humans who live and stand by their beliefs without malice or self glorification. Why attribute that achievement anywhere but to the self? That is a reward beyond any monetary riches.
We’re here, now, and this is every individual’s chance to make it better now, when we can see and believe the result. I don’t disrespect anyone’s right to choose to follow any faith but have faced hostility for not sharing other people’s faith. To not believe in any god doesn’t mean I believe in any opposing force – I don’t believe in any of that. If I did I may as well continue to believe in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy, pixies or lucky white heather – all methods of control from the masses to getting children to bed early using bribery.
Self control is really well worth investigating as a means of developing real personal power and success. It can surely take at least as long as the many people I know who have spent years in search of the ‘Truth’ only to run away from it, screaming, when it knocks on the door to confront them. I think it’s best to have reason to believe in you and let the smarter people out there recognise the inner qualities to be encouraged to come out.
I have some good teachers and supporters in my new way forward and I hope to do them proud as well as myself. I’ll report on that at another time and credit those valued helpers. Even I find there are some good people out there. There is always hope, sometimes it’s really hard to see it though.