I know a man on the spectrum who takes a week’s holiday, each year, and spends a couple of months beforehand and about a week afterwards being anxious and very unsettled about the change in his routine. So, after having it pointed out to me how I might find the stress of Christmas difficult to cope with, I recognised that, indeed, I do and always have done. I’m not alone in that. Now we have a new year to contend with.
We have a new month, every month but that slips by as quietly as the time does but the focus on January and the traditionally inclement weather can give it an air of foreboding. It was helpful to realise that my stress was more to do with the change in behaviour of the world around me than in myself. Look at Black Friday as a taste of what was to come – and there was I merrily pootling along through all the neurotic neurotypicals, feeling glad to be giving it a miss.
If I’m ever to be found playing tug-of-war for a still expensive bit of end of line stock, then by all means question my behaviour. It should be questioned. But it’s ‘what people do’ so it will pass by the composure register. Continue reading
And I’m clear about that, just as our ‘esteemed’ Prime Minister likes to say, as he looks down on us through the lens of the upturned camera sent to record his reaction to the latest example of human shame. I think he’s so clear that he is transparent and I have little patience for his posturing, though I would love said camera to pan down to his feet, one day, to see if he stands on a pre-positioned Lazy Susan to enact his customary swivel on the heel before departing magnificently, in a style reminiscent of Dick Emery… Continue reading
From my newly occupied pigeon-hole of oblivion, I’ve observed myself and those around me, coming to terms with my late diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome – just as the American method of diagnosis ‘does away’ with the term, so we’re all classified as simply autistic. So, the experts, in full knowledge of the effects of change and the search for an identity in this confusing world we face, have changed it, and the way we relate to ourselves.
It’s hardly surprising there is such widespread fear of change (and not just among those on ‘the spectrum’ – like little echoes of nature in a rainbow) when people like me find themselves under a waterboard of new life-changing information and understanding about everything now, before and yet to come. Suddenly, I’m learning about all the things I can’t do, when I’ve always heard that there is no such word as can’t, ironically undermining its own declaration by using the word that apparently doesn’t exist. Can I not just be allowed to do things to the best of my ability (the way I always have)? Can I not just be accepted as being able to do some things better than other things; some really well and some really poorly? Isn’t that what we all do anyway, regardless of ability, disability or diagnosis? Continue reading